Overreaction

Introduction.  On the afternoon of January 13, 2014 in a suburb of Tampa Florida, a 71 year old retired police officer named Curtis Reeves went to the movies with his wife. In front of them a 43-year old Navy veteran, Chad Oulson, was sitting with his wife and was texting his daughter during the previews. When Reeves objected to Oulson’s texting in the theater, an argument started that escalated within only a few minutes to the point that Reeves shot Oulson in the chest, with the bullet passing through the hand of Oulson’s wife, who tried to block the shot. Oulson died a short time latter, and Reeves was arrested. How could something like this happen? How could something as trivial as an argument over texting spin so out of control that one man was left dead, and the other on trial for murder?

Sadly, as extreme as this situation may be, all around us we see the same type of problem virtually everyday.

•         A driver becomes outraged because someone cuts him off. In a rage he pushes the accelerator to floor a speeds around the other driver making an obscene gesture as he passes.

•         A married couple in an argument over where to go on vacation or who left the toilet seat up allows emotions to escalate to the point that deep wounds are inflicted and the marriage ends in divorce.

•         An employee becomes so frustrated that he or she didn’t get an expected raise that he or she quits impulsively, only to be left jobless for an extended period of time.

•         Among nations, the trade practices, rhetoric, or even accidental violations of airspace cause hostility to build and start a chain of events that lead to warfare, and death.

•         Or on a personal level a struggle with temptation leads a person who had previously exercised self-control to abandon all restraint and surrender to sin.

This is a problem of overreaction and it surrounds us. While the Bible doesn’t use this term to describe it, the problem is addressed throughout Scripture. This morning I’d like for us to consider what the Bible teaches about overreaction and how Christians should avoid it.

I. Biblical Examples of Overreaction.

A.     Problems.

1.      Rehoboam overreacted when facing a challenge to his authority.

                                                             a.      When he became king the people pled for a lighter burden (1 Kings 12:1-4).

                                                            b.      To his credit he took time to seek counsel and consider the matter (1 Kings 12:5-7).

                                                             c.      But he also sought the advice of his peers (1 Kings 12:8-11).

                                                            d.      He rashly followed the advice of the young men, leading to the division of the kingdom (1 Kings 12:12-17).

                                                             e.      His overreaction set the stage for the ultimate apostasy of Israelites in the north.

i.         It is easy by overreacting to problems to create more problems.

B.     Emotional Trials.

1.      James and John overreacted in their response to rejection (Luke 9:51-56).

                                                             a.      Was their anger because they felt Jesus was insulted by this? Did they personally feel offended by the rejection of this city?

                                                            b.      It is easy to move quickly from a desire to help someone to a defensive resentment that moves to hatred when we feel rejected. This is an overreaction.

i.         Jesus was “despised and rejected” (Isa. 53:3) by the very ones He came to save. And yet...

ii.       Jesus, “when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously” (1 Pet.2:23).

2.      The “Gentiles” overreact in their anxiety over life’s necessities (Matt. 6:25-34).

                                                             a.      Scripture teaches disciples of Christ to “aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands” (1 Thess. 4:11).

                                                            b.      To do so with a mistrust that God will provide—to do so with anxiety and worry is an overreaction to the challenges of life.

C.      Spiritual Choices.

1.      Peter overreacted in a desire to honor Jesus (Matt. 17:1-7).

                                                             a.      This was a religious act, and yet it placed Jesus on an equal par with mere men.

                                                            b.      To refuse to acknowledge the authority and divinity of Jesus in manmade acts of worship is an overreaction.

2.      Jeroboam overreacted in his desire to lead Israel. 

                                                             a.      As noted earlier, when the kingdom was divided, Jeroboam led the northern tribes.

                                                            b.      The Lord had revealed this to Jeroboam through the prophet Ahijah (1 Kings 11:29-39). If he would have been faithful to the Lord, his kingdom would have been blessed. Sadly, he did not...

                                                             c.      He created false worship out of fear he would lose his kingdom (1 Kings 12:25-33). This was an overreaction.

D.     The Sins of Others.

1.      Absalom overreacted in response to a sin against his sister.

                                                             a.      Amnon was David’s son by Ahinoam (2 Sam. 3:2), and Absalom was David’s son by Maacah (2 Sam. 3:3). Absalom had a sister (likely by the same mother) named Tamar (2 Sam. 13:1).

                                                            b.      Amnon raped Tamar (2 Sam. 13:2-15), and both Absalom and David learned about this, but David did nothing.

                                                             c.      After a time, Absalom took matters into his own hands and killed Absalom (2 Sam. 13:28).

                                                            d.      When others sin, it is easy in response to sin to commit further sin. Paul warned, “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (Gal. 6:1).

                                                             e.      Illustration: The Grattan Massacre. In the early 1850s a tenuous peace treaty had been reached between the US and the Lakota Sioux in the northwestern plains. In August of 1854 near Ft. Laramie, Wyoming (in what was then Nebraska Territory) a calf wandered from a Mormon wagon train into a camp of Lakota Sioux Indians. A chief not a part of that tribe who was visiting, named High Forehead killed the calf and ate it. When the owner of the calf complained, Conquering Bear, the Lakota chief in charge of the village, offered to give the man a horse or a calf from their own herd to replace it. The man refused and insisted on $25.00 instead. According to the terms of the treaty, such matters were to be handled by the Indian agent, who was due to arrive in a few days with money that would have allowed the Lakota to pay the restitution. Instead, local military officials insisted on handling the matter—demanding the arrest of High Forehead, the visiting chief who killed the calf. On August 19, Second Lieutenant John Lawrence Grattan, of the U.S. 6th Infantry, a young West Point graduate marched into the village demanding the arrest of High Forehead. After a 45 minute argument using an interpreter who didn’t understand the Lakota dialect very well, as Grattan walked back to his soldiers a nervous soldier fired his gun, mortally wounding Conquering Bear. The village of some 1200 warriors immediately reacted killing all of the soldiers and the interpreter. This began the bloody chain of events spanning the next quarter of a century known as the First Sioux War. In spite of the fact that the US military had violated the terms of its own treaty, the war department, under the guidance of Secretary of War, Jefferson Davis, began an effort at retaliation. Never again would the Lakota trust the treaties offered by the United States government.

E.      Temptation.

1.      Saul overreacted to his jealousy of David.

                                                             a.      Because of Saul’s unfaithfulness to the Lord, Samuel had already told him, “But now your kingdom shall not continue. The LORD has sought for Himself a man after His own heart, and the LORD has commanded him to be commander over His people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you” (1 Sam. 13:14). Saul could have accepted the word of the Lord and helped David, but he did not...

                                                            b.      Saul tried to kill David by hurling a spear at him (1 Sam. 19:9-10)!

                                                             c.      We all want things our way, but what will we do when they don’t go the way we want them? Will we work to make the best of a difficult, disappointing situation—or will we overreact and destroy those around us?

2.      David overreacted in the face of temptation.

                                                             a.      David as king should have been with his warriors at the time “when kings go out to battle” (2 Sam. 11:1). He did not do this.

                                                            b.      He saw a woman and lusted after her (2 Sam. 11:2). Sin often comes when we are not doing what we should—leaving ourselves vulnerable to sin.

                                                             c.      At so many points David could have tempered his reaction. His son would write “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” (Prov. 16:32)—He should have ruled his spirit and turned away.

                                                            d.      Instead, he sent and inquired about her. He was not acting in ignorance—he was told she was the wife of Uriah (2 Sam. 11:3). He could have stopped there. He did not.

                                                             e.      He committed adultery with her and she conceived (2 Sam. 11:4-5). He could have repented then—but he concealed it! And it led to the death of Uriah, and the ultimate fall of his kingdom. He overreacted to his temptation and the truth of his sin.

                                                              f.      Illustration: The Addict. A person experiences some stress and rather than work on the thing that causes the stress he or she acts upon the addiction. When the stumbling has taken place, the person then says, “I have already fallen, I might as well go all the way.” So they go on a binge and sacrifice any progress made.

II. Avoiding Overreaction.

A.      This is a Common Problem that Must Be Addressed. Psychotherapist, Julie Hanks LCSW, in her article entitled “How to Stop Overreacting” offers five suggestions:

1.      Don’t neglect the basics. Lack of sleep, going too long without food or water, lack of recreation and play can leave your mind and body vulnerable to exaggerated responses....Prioritizing your own self-care will help minimize overreactions.

2.      Tune in and name it. A stiff neck, pit in stomach, pounding heart, tense muscles can all be signs that you’re in danger of overreacting, of being hijacked by intense emotions. Becoming more aware of physical cues actually helps you to stay ahead of, and in control of your response. Naming your feeling activates both sides of your brain allowing you to reflect on your situation instead of just reacting to it.

3.      Put a positive spin on it. Once you’ve identified and named the sensations in your body, you can intervene in your thoughts. When we have intense emotions it’s easy to go to a worst-case scenario as an explanation for whatever you’re reacting to...If someone offends you, consider the possibility that the insult is not about you. Maybe the neighbor who snapped at you was just given a pay cut at work and is feeling discouraged, or the person who cut you off in traffic is rushing to the hospital to see the birth of his first child.

4.      Breathe before responding. When you feel like flying off the handle, take a deep breath. Deep breathing slows down your fight or flight response and allows you to calm your nervous system and choose a more thoughtful and productive response.

5.      Identify and resolve emotional “leftovers.” Notice patterns in your overreactions. If you find yourself repeatedly revisiting an intense emotional or behavior response, there is likely a historical component that needs to be addressed.

She suggests that we sometimes have “emotional leftovers” from the past that may heighten sensitivity  as adults. Dealing with these can allow one to “respond in a more balanced way to present” situations.

Hanks, Julie LCSW. “How to Stop Overreacting.” World of Psychology (Mar. 4, 2013) PsychCentral.com [online] http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/03/04/how-to-stop-overreacting/

B.      Biblical Solutions to Overreaction.

1.      Stop and consider. Whether it is temptation, problems, disappointments, or spiritual issues, impulsive reactions are rarely the answer.

                                                             a.      The Psalmist teaches us, “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still” (Psa. 4:4).

                                                            b.      The “simple” believes every word, the “prudent” considers—(Prov. 14:15-18).

2.      Find the River in the Storm (Psa. 46:1-11).

                                                             a.      The psalmist paints an exaggerated picture to show the trust God’s people should have in Him. Because “God is our refuge” he describes one without fear while the earth is taken away—mountains are crumbling into the sea——the oceans are roaring—and the mountains are shaking (Psa. 46:1-3).

                                                            b.      “The Holy Place” of God is to be seen as a river flowing in the midst of it all that grants peace to God’s people (Psa. 46:4-5). This is probably not just talking about the physical tabernacle, but fellowship with God.

                                                             c.      Man is concerned about many things—but God is above it all (Psa. 46:6-9).

                                                            d.      In the midst of all turmoil because of who God is, the child of God should “be still” in the assurance that God is his “refuge” (Psa. 46:10-11).

3.      Listen before you speak. Unfortunately, our emotions often move faster than our reason. This tempts us to speak quickly in overreaction.

                                                             a.      James teaches, “let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20).

                                                            b.      Listening is a conscious choice. It is deliberate. It doesn’t happen by accident. Without it we can overact. Without it we can sin.

4.      Consider how to answer. What would have happened in the incident I mentioned in the movie theater if communication had been better?

                                                             a.      “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil” (Prov. 15:28).

                                                            b.      “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1).

5.      Surround yourself by those who help you avoid overreaction. Abigail helped David temper his response and avoid sin.

                                                             a.      As David had become more powerful, while he was running from Saul, but was not yet king, he sent to a man named Nabal for provisions (1 Sam. 25:3-9).

                                                            b.      Nabal responded with disrespect (1 Sam. 25:10-12). Causing David to prepare for war (1 Sam. 25:13).

                                                             c.      Nabal’s wife, Abigail learned of this and made plans to intervene (1 Sam. 25:14-17).

                                                            d.      She pled for David to restrain his behavior (1 Sam. 25:23-31).

                                                             e.      Abigail kept him from sin (1 Sam. 25:32-33). We must treasure the Abigails in our lives. We must surround ourselves with Abigails.

6.      Be Willing to Receive Correction.

                                                             a.      “A fool despises his father’s instruction, But he who receives correction is prudent.” (Prov. 15:5).

                                                            b.      If one is too thin-skinned it can lead to overreaction. If David had been unwilling to heed Abigail’s advice (that corrected what he intended to do) he would have sinned.

7.      See the Unseen, Eternal Things.

                                                             a.      Paul taught, “...the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Cor. 4:18).

i.         Eternal things like the value of the soul. It is easy in times of frustration to lose sight of the value of the soul—souls harmed by overreaction—souls influenced by overreaction.

ii.       Eternal things such as a brighter day tomorrow.

                                                            b.      Paul told the Romans, “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Rom. 8:28).

i.         A dear elder who served where I preached in Birmingham, no matter how difficult a situation the church had to face, would always say “everything’s going to be alright!” He wasn’t na•ve or blind to the realities of the situation—he had the foresight to see a brighter day beyond difficulties. This will help avoid overreaction.

Conclusion. Illustration: Driving. In driving overreaction is a major cause of accidents. A driver comes upon something in the road and he turns the wheel suddenly to avoid it. The driver avoids the thing in the road but swerves into something else, loses control of the vehicle, or hits another driver. The year after I graduated from high school a good friend of mine, Mark Cooper, was coming home one night and a dog darted out in from of his car. He swerved to miss the dog and crashed his car at a high rate of speed killing him instantly. An 18 year old life was snuffed out because of overreaction. The spiritual life of a Christian can be snuffed out by overreaction. We must avoid this at all costs.