“The Way of a Man with a Maiden”

Introduction. (Prov. 30:18-19)  “The way of a man with a maiden” (ASV). Most of us would probably agree with the wise man. Along with these other marvels, who of us understands the force that draws man and woman together? Think about this attraction—a young man will make enormous sacrifices, a young woman will dress, or arrange her hair, or put on make up, to attract one another. Foolish choices, impulsive actions, rash decisions, mean nothing—when two people are attracted to each other this force is captivating. 

I.  God created the attraction between man and woman.

A.  Sarai and Rebekeh were said to be “beautiful” (Gen. 12:11; 24:16).  Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance.” (Gen. 29:17).  Saul and David were said to be “handsome” (1 Sam. 9:2; 16:18). Joseph was “handsome in form and appearance” (Gen. 39:6).

B.  This attraction is a part of what God has created to draw men and women towards the marriage relationship.  In and of itself there is nothing wrong with the fact that men are attracted to women and women are attracted to men.

1.  However, this attraction is part of the mechanism that God has created to lead to the sexual relationship.

2. That expression (and consummation) of attraction is reserved for the special relationship of marriage alone.

II.  God established the “one flesh” relationship that is a part of marriage (Gen. 2:18-25). This phrase may mean more than simply intimate union between a husband and wife, but it clearly refers (at least in part) to the sexual relationship (1 Cor. 6:15-20).

A.     From the beginning this was intended for the marriage relationship. Before marriage it is “a thing which ought not to be done” (Gen. 34:1-7).

III.  Outside of marriage it is a thing which is forbidden (Lev. 20:10; Gal. 5:19-21).

A.     Marriage is provided to protect against fornication (1 Cor. 7:1-5).

B.     Behavior must be guarded to avoid this temptation. “Flee sexual immorality” (1 Cor. 6:18). The young man is warned to stay far away from this sin (Prov. 7:21-27).

IV. Within marriage this is honorable (Heb. 13:4). It is not only for procreation.  It is not sinful within marriage (Prov. 5:15-19).

A.    Outside of marriage “whoever touches her shall not be innocent.” (Prov. 6:20-29).

B.  This is what is so profound about Jesus’ teaching on divorce—the unscriptural second marriage is “adultery” (Luke 16:18).

V. How should the Christian guard and preserve this beautiful part of the marriage relationship?

A.  If unmarried, commit yourself to keep yourself pure.

1.  Don’t put yourself in dangerous situations—in the back of that carseat—on that dance floor—in the house alone.

2.  Make your commitment clear to your boyfriend or girlfriend—“I want to wait until I’m married!” If they don’t respect your values, you don’t want to be in a relationship with them.

3.  Don’t let yourself be pressured into sin.  It is your body—it will be your future marriage relationship. Don’t pollute it and bring into it regrets, resentment, jealousies and comparisons. God wants more for you.

B.  If you are married, guard yourself and remember your promise.

1.  In your marriage ceremony you said something to the effect, “… keeping myself only to you, as long as we both shall live.” That was a promise—a contract. Keep it!

2.  Don’t allow yourself to get too close to those of the opposite sex. Avoid being in situation alone with someone.  Avoid commiserating with someone of the opposite sex.  Far too often, when someone complains about his or her mate to a sympathetic friend of the opposite sex it does take too long before the two are attracted to one another.

3.  Focus on being the best mate you can be, and be content with the mate God has given you. If you have been blessed to have a mate, that is a blessing from God. Be thankful for it. No mate is flawless, but the more we concentrate on gratitude for all that is good in our partner the less we will concentrate on the shortcomings we see.

Conclusion.  The bond of love, affection, commitment, attraction, that God has created for a man and a woman in the bond of marriage is a beautiful thing. The “one flesh” aspect of this relationship is a beautiful bond that a husband and wife may share. In a world that has taken this beautiful part of the marriage relationship and cheapened and polluted it by failing to reserve it for its proper place, may we who are Christians have the courage to stand against this tide of promiscuity and immorality honoring God and the covenant of marriage.